How to Lay Your Life Down for a Friend
On Sunday we closed out our Formed in Christ series by looking at the Invitation to Spiritual Friendship. I remain convinced that it is a practice that God has not only used in my life to bring about profound growth, but it is one of the most powerful tools that we all have to grow and be transformed in Jesus.
In preparing for Sunday’s sermon, I was reading through Jesus’ words in John 15 where he talks about the disciples being his friends. And then, that memorable line – Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
We often imagine this in the uber-heroic, stepping in front of a bus, taking a bullet, offering the last seat on the life raft or the last drink of water that will sustain them, instead of us, as we wait to be rescued. We, or at least I, often imagine this very literally. And sure, I’d like to think that I have that kind of love for another person, for every other person… but will I ever be in a position to do that? Will any of us, really ever be in a position to literally die for someone else?
Probably not.
So we often imagine it in the every-day, sacrificial caring for someone else – shoveling the snow of our neighbor, bringing them food as they recover from surgery, caring for an aging family member, or spouse – putting their needs before ours in the kind of sacrificial way that Jesus did. And I wholeheartedly believe that is not only a faithful reading, it’s a true opportunity that we have in this life. It is certain we will have that chance, many times over, in a way that literally dying for someone is unlikely.
Yet…
The more I read, the more I thought that there’s another way to look at this.
When I come to my friend, or walk alongside them as we journey together… the posture of my heart towards them can be guarded and careful, or open and vulnerable. I can be the strong one, or I can be the weak one. If I’m always the strong one, never giving them the opportunity to minister to me, we get stuck in a dishonest dynamic. None of us are strong all the time. That keeps both of us from growing. It keeps my friend from being able to be honest too. We get stuck in roles, instead of being honest and growing.
One of the best ways that I can lay down my life for my friend, is to bring my whole self, honestly, to them. I can share my fears as well as my hopes. I can share my mistakes as well as my successes. I can share my ignorance as well as my knowledge. That kind of vulnerability is not easy. But it is, in a profound way, laying down our lives for our friend, and our friendship.
I truly encourage you to keep leaning into these Invitations to Grow, especially the practice of Spiritual Friendship. I’ve been talking with some leaders about how we might better till the soil of our community and plant seeds that will help us all grow. If you’d like to be a part of that, would like further help in finding or deepening a spiritual friend, please let me know!
Welcoming You to Grow in Jesus,
Pastor Don
PS – don’t forget, worship this Sunday is a SINGLE 10a Service as we continue to celebrate our 250 years of Serving God and our Community, and welcome back the Rev. Don Steele and his wife Donna. I look forward to seeing you then!